Expressing thoughts and feelings in business meetings

This video is all about expressing thoughts and feelings in business meetings. The when, where and how. If you are already thinking “No way”, consider how it might create team effectiveness and inspire growth. Whilst acknowledging the reasons why team members typically don’t want to share their thoughts, we discuss why that’s inefficient.

Another video that alines nicely with this one is The Effects Of Team Mutual Accountability (opens in a separate tab, for your convenience).



Expressing thoughts and feelings in business meetings – script

Talking your thoughts and feelings in team meetings. Do you do that? Do you talk in the moment about what you are thinking and what you are feeling IN the meeting? Somebody said to me once, “You should always have the meeting in the meeting, not afterwards”.

People feel it’s inefficient to talk about what’s going on in their head in the moment. But actually they couldn’t be more wrong. And when I say about thoughts, I’m not talking about, “What you are going to have for dinner?”, “How many cardamons am I going to put in the biriyani?”, “If I was an inch taller I’d be six foot, wouldn’t that be great’. Not those thoughts! And I’m not talking about every meeting, I’m talking about when you’re with your team mates. Also when you are with your core team making BIG decisions, you don’t say everything all of the time, that would be stupid. Politics exists, it’s everywhere.

No, I’m talking about your team, your buddies, your people – and I wonder whether you share with them enough! The teams I’ve been with this week feel that they don’t.

Some of the reasons we don’t, are:

  • We don’t want to slow things down
  • We don’t want to annoy people
  • We don’t want to look stupid
  • We don’t want to get in the way
  • We want to be polite to other people

But it’s actually inefficient. So, what I’m prescribing is that you have an agreement in your team to:

  1. Assume good intent – Assume they are not being manipulative or political and there is no conspiracy
  2. Have that agreement that you can talk your thoughts – and start to practice. For example, “I’m disappointed. You invited me into this meeting and no-one is listening to me. I think I have some really good ideas”, “That is an amazing idea, you have really got me excited about our future. This has been what I’ve been waiting for”. So, talk about how you are feeling, not just thinking. That’s when you really get to know people. It can feel a little strange and uncomfortable. But – how you feel affects your behaviour, which affects your performance. But we don’t often talk about it! You start to get more effective when you do.

How many times do you go into a meeting when everybody’s got a different idea about why you are in there. You all talk over one another at cross purposes and misunderstand each other. Then you leave the room with ten different ideas and thoughts about what you just agreed and decided to do. We do it so often and we are in so many meetings these days!

So, please try this out, talk to your team mates, assume good intent, build that trust where you can feel comfortable to say anything in the meeting, not afterwards.

And let us know how that has worked out for you!


Good luck and I would love to hear your views on this subject by commenting below!


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